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Push Pull Relationship Psychology | Coach Natalie Explains Push Pull Technique

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How do I attract my ex-partner using the push-pull technique?

My name is Coach Natalie. This is Love Advice TV. The balance of power and the push pull technique aligns really well with that concept of the balance of power. What the balance of power is and with this push pull technique, I think can really help you re-attract your ex. It aligns really well with no contact and aligns overall with our methodologies and what we’ve seen a lot of success with.

The balance of power is this idea that in every single relationship there is an allocation power and control that shifts between the two people. Some days we feel really in control and really connected to our relationships and some days we feel like total victims in our relationships and we have no idea which way is up and we’re waiting for our partners to guide us to some resolution. The balance of power is something that exists in every single relationship. There’s always a power shift happening. Understanding that power exists, that balance of power exists is essential because it helps you create stability in your relationship. It’s gonna help you know if you’ve got too much of the power or if your partner does and what to do if the balance of power is skewed more so in their favor and how to get a little bit more power back in your court. That is something that kind of ties well into the push pull technique.

Push pull leverages what we know about the balance of power to work in your favor and consequently that reattracts your ex-partner.The more we push, the more our partner pulls. The more we smother our partner, the more needy we are, the more they run, the less they want to hang out. The more I push my affection onto them, the less interested they are, the more they pull away. What’s most frustrating is that when someone pushes and their partner pulls away they feel encouraged to push more.

The push pull technique is such a big method for us here at love advice TV it’s because it’s what we’ve seen the most success with. This push pull technique is essential because if pushing more encourages them to pull and what do you have to do push this and that’s what aligns with no contact. By going into no contact, you stop pushing. By doing that, your partner doesn’t feel smothered, they don’t feel the residue of needy behavior and they get to miss you for a second. With many of our relationship coaching clients, when they stop pushing they actually can become the puller so the narrative changes. When you stop pushing your partner, who is so used to you pushing, might actually come knocking on your door wondering where all that love went, and that’s something that so many people report back to me. They say, “I went into no contact and now he’s calling me! How did that happen?” We know how that happened and it happened because now the balance of power leans in your favor. When you stopped pushing, your partner had to start pushing and now you’re the puller and now you have so much more control over the emotional stability in this relationship. The push pull technique can really serve you if you know how it works, if you know the mechanics behind it.


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